After taking most of the last year to take care of my mom and winding down from spending so much time in the previous years working and traveling, I opened up the space to start working again and felt a whoosh of energy both inside and out! It is fun to feel so productive and be busy, but I am being careful to notice when I am overloading myself.
It reminds me of studying Angeles Arrien’s The Four-Fold Way years ago. She wrote about the four addictions: 1) the addiction to intensity; 2) the addiciton to perfection; 3) the addiction to the need to know; and 4) the addiction to being fixated on what’s not working rather than what is working.
When I first read the book, I spent a lot of time looking at my life and how I was acting out the four addictions–and I’ve attempted to pay attention since then (15 years now), but I’m now seeing how easy it is to rev up the engine and just forge ahead and suddenly realize that I’m getting caught up in them again!
One of the ways I am intense is by trying to fit too many things into one day and not take time out just to be here. I was getting really good at that over the last year, so I don’t want to forget about it!
I show the perfection addiction when I keep going longer than necessary–at my emails, in conversations, in completing things all in one day. I seem to forget I have time, and that some things actually can wait until tomorrow!
I get hung up on needing to know when I start pushing my take on things instead of waiting, listening and seeing what is actually going on around me. Sometimes I am pretty sure I know what is happening and I’m completely wrong!
And sometimes I get frustrated with people not doing what I want them to do, so focus on that, instead of all the ways they are doing just great.
So, thank you Angeles Arrien, for still being a beacon of light and learning in my life after all these years. I’m so grateful I can see how much more I can learn and be aware of!