It has been quite a while since I posted a blog. The month of September was very demanding with travel and workshop commitments. It was also my birthday “month” since I celebrated from September 2nd (my actual birthday) all the way to September 29th when some of my dear friends had a birthday party for me. We were all so busy that it was the first date we could get together!
It was a great party and my most special guest was my mother, Nellie, who danced with me and spent the evening visiting with my friends. I’m so deeply grateful we had that night because four days later she landed in the ICU due to a medical complication and has been there now for four and a half weeks!
It is amazing how life can turn on a dime. I find myself saying that a lot lately, and thank goodness I know that, because it has been quite a roller-coaster ride. Times like these are both beyond difficult and great gifts. I feel like I have learned so much from this experience.
Some of what I have learned, in no particular order (as my mind tends to jumble around a bit):
* Dealing with family issues is just about the most core stuff it is possible to experience. It brings up old wounds, old resentments, new challenges and opportunities. I have found myself having to step back and really listen to what is going on around me then let myself process it carefully so I don’t just react and add to the tension of the current situation. I keep using the tools I teach others–I am actually aware that when I work with clients I’m really talking to myself!
* Crises like this put life into focus unlike any other time. I am so clear about what is really important to me! I love every minute I get to spend with my mom. I have had no problem letting everything else in my life come second to her.
* I am in awe of her strength. For whatever reason, she decided that this wasn’t her time to leave this planet and held herself together through four surgeries in two weeks. The roller coaster is that she gets better then has minor setbacks. Each time she seems like she won’t make it through this I have to let myself be okay with that idea. And each time I get really okay with it, she rallies and moves forward again. Amazing!
* I am also deeply grateful that I am at a time of life that I can take the time necessary to be there for my mom and not have to worry about running my business. I still am able to work with individual clients, so the choices I made about how to live my life are working out! That feels good.
* We are so not in control over what happens in this world! The only thing we have control over is how we think about what is happening. That is clearer to me than ever before!