Lately I’ve been asked to do workshops with groups on Women in Transition. Partly this is because it seems more women today are looking around and eager to figure out what’s next? Is this all there is? What do I want that is different? Is my life reflecting the true me?
That isn’t to say that men aren’t also in a similar state, they just don’t tend to group together to talk about it! (Might be really great for them if they did….)
Here are some of the themes that have surfaced from these sessions:
- Having power in our lives seems to be an ongoing struggle. My take on this is that power isn’t something others give you, you can only give it to yourself by recognizing you have it.
- no, that doesn’t mean power over others
- it does mean power to make choices that really work for you
- it also means power to change your relationship with others by changing how you see yourself and see them
- and it means that we all sometimes need to be reminded to step up and actually live up to the image we have of ourselves, who we are and how we want to show up in the world
- A lot of people have a difficult time telling the truth
- that doesn’t mean going around blasting people with our opinions
- it does mean finding a palatable way to share your insights, ideas and thoughts with people when it really makes a difference
- when we don’t feel comfortable being open and honest with others, we tend to avoid them
- many situations would be very different if all parties simply expressed their feelings and quit trying to either protect others or make so much accommodation that we get lost–even from ourselves!
- Sometimes people pay me good money for help then don’t act on the strategy we come up with.
- Instead of thinking they are not cooperating, I tend to give them some leeway
- We’re not always ready to move forward
- It might take a while for the new ideas to sink in
- If we’re not ready, we’re not ready!
- Patience with ourselves is a wise thing to have….
- We all tend to beat up on ourselves when we don’t or can’t seem to do what we consider to be the “right thing” and it is very difficult to shift from that negative self-talk.
- A client recently asked me what she could do when she gets like that and I was reminded of something my dear teacher Ruby taught me in 1973
- I was bemoaning something that I felt I had really screwed up and she said, “Margery, relax! We don’t beat up on babies!”
- I realized that at that moment, I was like a baby trying to learn a new way of being, and just like when our own babies were learning to walk, I needed encouragement, not a reprimand! We can encourage ourselves as if we were babies–because every time we have something new to learn, we ARE babies!