Most people think about love in terms of finding it and keeping it–as if the lack of it is something to be unhappy about.
What if you could see that you cannot possibly lack love if you already are love?
What if you could see that love simply is, and you are the source of it for yourself?
How would that be possible?
First, you would have to expand your notion of what love is. In working with my clients, I often help them understand the infinite intelligence and divine universe they are surrounded by in a visceral way: I ask them to lean back into my arms, as I hold them up from behind. The more they can relax and let go, the more they feel supported.
That constant support, that in actuality is ever present, is love. It is a presence of support, even when it looks like a challenge. It may seem counter-intuitive, however, the very thing that challenges you to the core of your being is also the greatest support in life it is possible to receive.
When you are stretched, emotionally and mentally, to the edge of your capacity, it is actually the supportive, ever present infinite intelligence in the universe pushing you to go beyond where you thought you could go, to find the inner strength and resources to come up with a solution, with a way to manage the situation.
One form could be reaching out for help.
One form could be going quiet and re-cognizing what you already know, reminding yourself of some truth that you have lost track of.
One form could be to rest and regroup, detach yourself enough to see the bigger picture.
Those examples are self-love, in a few of the innumerable forms love shows up in your life.
I believe that it is impossible to have a loving, fulfilling relationship with another if you do not love yourself. I think that is why so many people live in relationships unhappily. They feel love for the other person, but at the same time, feel disconnected from them, unable to fully speak their truth, lonely in the presence of the other.
When you love yourself, love that you are part of a magnificent universe that is just bigger love, when you can see that there are good and bad things about you, and that those paradoxes are also love, that they are just expressions of the multi-facets of the forms love shows up, then you start to see others differently. You are more able to appreciate them for who they are, not who you want them to be.
You feel more connected to your inner self, others, and to the infinite intelligence that we are part and parcel of. You stop thinking you have to find love to be fulfilled, you start realizing that when you embrace the forms of love that are ever present in your life, you gain a conscious awareness of being fulfilled that no “other” can ever take from you, nor can you feel a lack of, except when you lose sight of it within yourself.
That’s a way to make every day Valentine’s Day for yourself.